Sometimes I go on the Internet in hopes of finding some way of stimulating my restless mind. Sometimes I go on the Internet to waste my time, just faff about and not do anything of much importance. Sometimes I go on the Internet to find something or someone who will motivate me and inspire me to do more than I could ever dream of doing with my life. I go on the Internet to shape up who I am and who I want to become.
I'm not entirely sure if this is something most people can relate to, but growing up, I've found myself thinking, "Huh. [insert name here] is doing things with his/her life that just, well, put me to shame." or "Wow, I love the way [insert name here]'s mind works!" This is usually the case with the people I watch on YouTube. I see people like Kayley Hyde, who are able to translate my thoughts into words so very precisely, or people like John Green, who can always make things sound grander and far more poetic than my 16-year-old mind can ever seem to notice enough to appreciate, and I just feel like I'm...in a rut. I keep wanting the future to arrive and see what I will make of my life; wanting to know that no matter how many times I screw up, I'll have fun along the way and still turn out to be successful in whatever it is I choose to do in the end. The very idea of following in my YouTube idols' footsteps both thrills and frightens me.
The people I look up to are, to be quite frank, ...very bold and artsy. They don't have the most practical plans; anyone could try to do what these people do and end up mooching off their parents after graduating from university because their ideal career didn't ensure a successful future. These people -- they're living the life I hope to live in the near future. I hope to be able to sustain myself while seeing as much of the world as I can see as soon as possible; to write about my experiences; to make a change in the society we are living in today; to create a community full of people who are intellectual and opinionated, and will work together to reach one common goal as opposed to working against each other to see who will turn out to be "superior". I want everything I do in life to matter.
Confusion and worries about my future set aside, I'm thankful for having the Internet be a part of my life (and quite a considerable part it's been). Were it not for the people whose existence I would have never known about without the Internet, I would probably be a very different person. The YouTubers who have influenced me in ways people in real life never have, have helped me get to know who I am. I was introduced to things that are completely different from what I'm used to; from what everyone around me is used to. Because of this, I know what kind of effect I want to have on the world; what lifestyles attract me. It's helped me hone skills I never would have thought I'd actually be able to have and, along the way, made me realise that I don't always have to make strategically thought-out decisions. I just have to be impulsive and do whatever it is I want to do sometimes.
The Internet has taught me so much I don't think I would have learnt without access to it. Not having Kayley or John teach me what I know now would have probably led to me conforming to working in an office as a secretary, something I cannot and will not ever consider after my many learning experiences. At the moment, I see myself doing what both thrills and frightens me: Following in my YouTube idols' footsteps. I will work hard to travel to my heart's content, write until I dislocate my wrist (or some hyperbole I'm not clever enough to come up with), and make a change...and I owe it all to the Internet.
xx
"The Internet is becoming the town square for the global village of tomorrow." - Bill Gates
